BRAZIL, Ind. (WTHI) - December 5, 2016 remains a nightmare on repeat for Marisha Stewart.
"I just remember yelling, screaming for help," she said, "The smell, I smell smoke, I instantly go into a panic attack, fires, sirens."
It's all triggers and reminders of what happened that night.
A fire submerged their home on Mechanic Street. Stewart would survive, but her two children and infant grandaughter would not.
"I would've gave my life just to bring my babies back," said Stewart.
Raven Tedder, Stewart's daughter, was a young, hard-working mother.
"Raven had the biggest heart, she would give the shirt off her back to anybody," she said, "The most beautiful smile, could light up a room and could sing like a canary. She's the best mother."
Raven's daughter, Zoiey, was the happiest part of her parents' life, an angel to Stewart.
"She was an amazing little girl," Stewart said, "She brought so much happiness to her dad and her mother."
Shyloi was Stewart's youngest son, also known for his caring heart.
"He was my youngest baby," she said, "He was spoiled, very much so. He had this character that called himself Dr. Mendo, anybody that had booboos, Dr. Mendo mended."
The family's home on Mechanic Street would be the last place they'd all be together. The house has since been torn down and is no longer there. It may be an empty lot now, but the memories are still present.
"My son and his siblings, my daughter, would play out here," she said, "They used to come out here and have leaf fights, water balloon fights."
"I can still picture where everything was in my home, this day," she added, "This big, empty space is how I feel sometimes."
For Stewart, her life is lived in slow motion. Her surviving children, she says, are staying with other family members while she works to get back on her feet. Every day, she's constantly thinking about that night, along with the what ifs.
"I still haven't recovered, I don't think I ever will," she said, "You have to learn to deal with it every day, day by day."
As for what keeps her going every day, it's being a mother to her remaining children and the ones she lost.
"I remember being in the hospital with my babies when they took their last breath," she said, "I was there when they took their first and their last, and that's something I'll never forget."
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